The Book of Ephesians Pt. 50 God's Order & Beauty: Children Who Honor their Parents.

In our last post we spent time studying the marriage relationship between a husband and wife. 

We learned that a husband must learn to love his wife as Christ loves His Church because this demonstrates his love and submission for Christ. 

A wife must learn to submit to her husband because this displays her love and obedience to the Lord. 

Both husband and wife need help from the indwelling Spirit of God to work these beautiful things into their marriage, so that God is honored.

Paul brings us to the second of the three great human relationships, that is .of parent and child. 

Ephesians 6:1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  

I noted before that a wife learns that submitting to her husband is an act of obedience to God. In like manner, parents are to teach their children  that as they obey Mom and Dad, they are also obeying God. 

We began looking at marriage before the fall and one thing that is striking is that in every aspect of creation in Genesis 1 and 2, God built in order and beauty. The family unit is fashioned by God the same way.  In order to see the beauty of family relationships, the order God designed must be established in each Christian home. 

When a husband loves his wife like Christ loves His church, then the order and beauty designed by God for the marriage relationship will be on full display. When a child learns to obey his or her parents because God ordained it, then the family order and beauty designed by God is on full display. 

The word "obey" is emphatic and means to hear and heed by obeying. The motivation for obedience is that God says this is "right." The word "right" means doing that which is righteous and virtuous by observing God's commands.

This text is very straight forward and is directed to children. Expository Pastor and theologian of the 17th century, Matthew Henry gave us a simple, yet eloquent explanation:  “Children, obey your parents; for the Lord has commanded it: obey them therefore for the Lord's sake, and with an eye to him.”

The first duty of children is obedience. They must be taught to obey because it is right according to God. A child's conscience will bear witness to the rightness of obedience and it will bring guilt and conviction upon them when they disobey. 

Parents should not plead with their children to do what is right, nor should they bribe a child into obeying. Instead, they must take their stand upon the Word of God and its authority over all moral matters. The Bible will be the anchor of a child’s whole life, when  the supremacy of what God says in His Word is established. But parents should help their children by removing irritation or passion from their own speech.

Children must learn to honor their parents.

Ephesians 6:2-3  Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 

Deuteronomy 5:16  Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Paul connects the New Testament imperative for children's obedience directly to the law of Moses given by God. The Hebrew word translated  "honor" means to give weight to what your parents say, to sit under them with the intent to obey and respect them. 

"Honor" is higher than obedience. It is having a high regard for those whom God has placed in authority over us as part of His order and beauty for the family. Parents are due the most respectful consideration from a child.  Father and mother are equal as objects of honor and obedience to their children.

The command to honor our parents comes with a promise from God. The first element is that it may be well with us when we honor our parents. Obedient children position themselves on a path to enjoy the fruition of this promise.

Children who obey their parents will often develop good work habits, a determination to do the right thing, a good moral foundation and a spirit tempered by a desire to please God in all things. These good habits and having a godly character lead to a life that pleases God and will be blessed by Him.

Spiritual well being for children who obey their parents.

Proverbs 1:8-9  My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9) For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

Proverbs 6:20-21  My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21) Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. 

Proverbs 23:22  Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

A father gives correction to his son and chastens him if the situation warrants it. His son is not to become sullen or angry. Rather, he is commanded to hear the correctives given by his father. His mother is teaching her son moral instruction based upon the law of Moses. He is to learn the ten commandments and apply them in all situations that arise in his life. 

The cumulative effect of receiving his father's correctives and not departing from the Biblical moral foundation received from his mother will change how their son lives. His life will be marked by grace, godliness and a discipline to do the right thing. 

King Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs as a guide for his own son that contained moral and ethical instruction from God. Notice that in just these few texts we find many imperatives for children. They are to hear and forsake not. They are to keep and forsake not. They are to listen to their father and respect their mother as she ages. 

The book of Proverbs contains many more examples of moral instruction and discipline for children. The children who hear and heed these instructions will honor their parents and live a life that is blessed by God. 

A stern warning for rebellious children.

Proverbs 19:26  He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.

The son in this account is a rebellious son. He "wasteth" his father. The word "wasteth" can mean causing his father to experience financial ruin or it can mean that he violently assaulted his father. The word "chaseth" means that he will drive his mother away. He will not listen to her, nor will he help her if she is in need. 

Proverbs 20:20  Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

A child who curses his father or mother is in danger of divine judgment. The word "curseth" means lightly esteeming his parents, treating them dismissively, contemptuously and heaping dishonor upon them. 

Exodus 21:15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21;17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

God is very clear about the fate of a son or daughter who is rebellious and disrespectful to his or her parents. Any son that strikes his parents was to be put to death. Any son who cursed his parents suffered a similar fate (See also Proverbs 30:11; 17).

The law of Moses expresses God's moral standards and in this case, we see that the punishment for mistreating parents is very severe. We do not stone our children for rebellion today, but we can teach them how God views the sin of rebellion, even as we teach them about honoring their parents. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Fathers, don't provoke your children. Point them to Christ.

Ephesians 6:4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

Though God has given parents authority in raising their children, care must be taken not to abuse that power.  The word "provoke" means to rouse them to anger or to bring them to a point of great exasperation. Our children ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. In particular, fathers must not become impatient with their children, and make the discipline fit the child's error. 

The word "bring them up" means to nourish our children until they reach emotional and spiritual maturity. The word "nurture" is a very broad word that means the complete training and education of children to develop their minds and morals, and teaches commands and admonitions from scripture. It also includes the training and care of the body. 

When we caution our children or reprove them, we must speak the truth in love rather than in anger. Our goal is to deal prudently and wisely with them, bringing in God's truth to show what was wrong and how to correct it. 

We are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of Christ. Teach them God's Word and live out truths before them. Help your children desire to own His truth for themselves. Anchor their hearts to the scriptures and Christ. 

Thoughts to Ponder...

How wonderful it is to read Genesis 1 and 2 and take notice that everything that God made had beauty and order designed into it. 

Marriage had beauty and order built into it as husbands and wives live according to what God says. 

The family unit has beauty and order built into it when parents live out gospel truth consistently before their children. When husbands submit to Christ and wives submit to their husbands, a child seeing this will more readily accept submitting to his parents because they have modeled a right behavior for them to see. 

I pray for strength for all of our Mom's and Dad's to live according to the Word of God before their children. I pray for all the children to have open eyes and attentive ears and hearts ready to hear and heed what their parents are teaching them about God, and the family order. May each one of us be humbly seeking to honor Him in all things. 

Bob