A Romans 1 World Pt. 18 God's Perspective of Rebellious Children

Rebellious Children

Romans 1:30-32  Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31) Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32)  Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. 

Disobedient to Parents. Disobedient to parents is a phrase that means the child whether young or old, is not compliant to his or her parents. It means that this child cannot be persuaded to obey his parents. 

A disobedient child is a serious matter with God. 

Exodus 20:12  Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.  

This text is the 5th commandment of the 10 commandments that God established. The commandments that precede it deal with man's relationship with God. This commandment begins telling us how God expects us to treat each other. It is noteworthy that this commandment begins in our homes with the parent and child relationship. 

The word "honor" means that children are to be respectful and treat their parents with deference and dignity. Children honor their parents best by learning to obey them when they are young. As adults, children honor their parents by making sure that their needs (food, clothing, shelter, and family time) are met. As our parents age, God expects us to care for them according to our abilities. 

For some children, this means an aged parent will live out the last part of their lives in the home of their child. For other children, it may mean having to hire an in home caregiver or placing your parent into a care facility because of medical conditions. In that case, it is the child's duty to regularly visit, check up on their parent and the care they are receiving and to be their advocate. 

Notice also that this commandment contains the promise of a blessing from the Lord. Children who honor their parents in every way possible will enjoy a long life. 

Rebellious Children Disrupt the Family Order.

Exodus 21:15  And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. 

God is serious about the role parents have in raising children. This text reinforces the 5th commandment of honoring your parents. 

Deuteronomy 21:18-21  If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19) Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20) And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21) And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

What happens when a child is self willed, non compliant and disrespectful to his or her parents? The example in this text is of an adult son who rebels against his parents and who does not respond to chastening or other interventions. How seriously does God view rebellion in a grown child? Such a stubborn and rebellious child was to be stoned to death. 

Elder abuse is a relatively new category of crime. About 5 million adults over the age of 60 are abused in some manner and the vast majority of these cases adult children are committing the abuse. Various forms of elder abuse mirror child abuse and these include physical abuse, neglect or mistreatment; emotional or financial abuse and verbal or emotional abuse. 

Adult children try to get out of their obligation to care for their parents. 

Matthew 15:3-9  But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? 4) For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. 5) But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; 6) And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. 7) Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, 8) This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. 9) But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. 

Jesus took the hyper conservative, religious Pharisees to task because they found a way to circumnavigate the 5th commandment. If a son said that his wealth and property was dedicated to God, then the Pharisees taught that he did not have to care for his elderly parents, which clearly transgressed the law of God. Man centered  teaching was placed on a higher level of authority than the Word of God. 

Consistent Discipline is needed.

Proverbs 13:24  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

This text is not giving parents a license to beat their children. It is the idea of a parent being alert, ready and willing to address disciplinary issues with their child. Consistent discipline and establishing boundaries for good or bad behavior is what God expects parents to do. 

It may be on occasion  that a child should receive the rod in the form of a spanking. A rod or a paddle should be used so that the child fears the object not the parent. Always after disciplining a child a parent should make it clear what the child did that was wrong or sinful and that discipline is one way they show love for their child. 

Moral, Religious, and Academic Training is Parent's responsibility.

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

This text is one that places the burden for the moral and secular education of a child upon the parents. Training up a child in the right way is first of all, a spiritual endeavor that seeks to make your son or daughter aware of sin and God's provision for salvation through Christ. 

It requires parents to supervise their children and hold them accountable for their actions or lack thereof. Parents must know what their children are being taught in public schools or colleges. This is a must because so many public schools and colleges force feed a left wing ideology upon their students. Moms and Dads, if this is happening with your child then pull them out of that school and find a school that will teach them properly. 

Children must obey their parents.

Ephesians 6:1-4  Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2) Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

Parents must teach their children that they are to obey them, because a parent is the God ordained authority in their lives until they leave the home. Ultimately each parent's task is to show their children that obeying Mom and Dad is pleasing to God and brings blessing upon their lives. Training our children to obey parental authority teaches them respect for other civil and religious authorities. The end goal is training our children to obey God. 

Children must obey their parents because the Lord tells us this is right for them to do. Paul ties this command for children to obey parents to the 5th commandment and honoring our parents. He reminds us that obedience is the path to receiving God's blessing. 

Paul also reinforces that when disciplining children, wrath and anger must be set aside when administering punishment. Using the rod does not always mean spanking with a paddle. In fact there are many creative methods for child discipline that do not involve using the "rod" at all. 

The goal in training and disciplining our children is to raise them up in the nurture of the Lord. This refers to God's love, grace, and mercy that motivated Him to send His Son, Jesus Christ to redeem us from our sins. The admonition of the Lord refers to teaching them that they are accountable to God for their actions and if they sin, He will hold them to account.    

Thoughts to Ponder...

It is so important for Christian parents to be very active in training up their children to live a life that honors God. The traditional family structure has been under attack for quite some time as extremists seek to redefine the God ordained family unit. 

We see from the few texts we examined that God places a burden upon parents and grand parents to do right by their children when helping them grow up into productive, morally grounded adults. 

Teaching God's perspective about the family and the child's place in a family is fundamentally important for all parents to diligently pursue. We want to anchor their hearts to what God says and to lead them to Jesus Christ for salvation.

This is one of the greatest tasks a parent can undertake. Pray for Christian parents that God will grant them strength to consistently seek to train up their children rightly. Pray for believing  grandparents to be able to come alongside and support their families however they can, in seeking to reinforce Godly principles to their grandchildren.

Bob